Imago Dei

When walking through the city of Rome yesterday, I felt completely at peace. But I also felt something different too. Independence? No, while feeling independent is true, that was not exactly it either. After a good time of silent thought, the word finally came to me, confidence. That's it! I feel confident! Suddenly, in addition to experiencing peace, independence, and confidence, excitement entered the mix! I could have thrown a party!

~*~

So you might be wondering, why is that so important? Ask anyone who knows me, in the past, I have not been a very confident person. For so many years I have struggled with confidence issues, mostly because of my own sinfulness. I always shot down compliments instead of accepting them. In a way, I was practicing self-abuse by holding tight to a negative self-perception. It was hard not to compare myself to others and I struggled seeing beauty within myself. The lack of confidence turned into a fear of being seen: I was convinced that only my flaws would be seen, so I stopped doing activities that could bring attention to myself. I had tried to make myself invisible.

~*~

Really it didn't make sense at all. I professed to be a child of God, the Creator of all things beautiful and good, but I couldn't see the beauty within myself. My life did not line-up with my relationship with my Creator, in whom my image is made in. I needed to believe the reality of Romans chapter eight and stop being dead in my sins. How terrible it has been suppressing my God-given abilities, no wonder I have felt so dry! The living dead is not a good descriptor of a follower of The Way. This journey has been a long one, and the story is far too long to tell here, but God has been caring for my wounded spirit for many years, and now I feel like the healing is almost complete. I am blessed. I feel like a butterfly emerging from it's dark cocoon; ready to radiate color and fly! I am so overwhelmed with God's love right now because I know that it is solely because of Him that I am so inspired and alive now. I thought I was spiritually dying, but God has revived me and it sure feels good to be alive!

Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

-Maria